Corners

I feel like we are turning a bad corner and I am realizing that I know so little about what is ahead. Part of me really doesn't want to know - the anticipation of what is coming may be worse than what actually comes. The other part of me is realizing I need to be more prepared so I can be more helpful to my mom.

Mom called my sister the other day, wondering where she went. "After I stepped out, everyone was gone!", she said. The sad part is, no one had been there in the first place. Upon further talk, my sister decided that my mom had fallen asleep reading, awoken and was a bit dazed, thus confusing the book with real life. When my sister called me to tell me, we were both pretty convinced this was truth. So, of course, I called my mom and she seemed her "new" normal. Whew! But then she called me a hour and a half later wondering where my "boys" were. Are they coming back here to stay? Sometimes they do that, she said. Apparently, she was in the shower and when she got out everyone was gone. Again. I assured her that no one was coming back over, that she could lock her doors and go to sleep because no one was coming to visit her. She was relieved, but I was freaked.

There are plenty of odd conversations we have with my mom, but I'm often surprised at how well she manages. These episodes seem to be her first "hallucinations", which, thankfully, were fairly benign. She was easily calmed and reassured. What happens if she hallucinates something terrifying? Or perceives a danger and lashes out?

This is why my second part is realizing that my first part needs to be prepared, regardless of the dreaded anticipation of it all. I didn't know hallucinations were part of this disease, if that's even what they were. So I'm spending time at the Alzheimer's Association website: http://www.alz.org, in case you are interested and want some information. I'm reevaluating the doctor we see, thinking I need a geriatric specialist - that is such a thing, right?

Obviously, I should have been doing this sooner...