The bored lady at The Iron Lady

Saturdays are long, difficult days for my mom. She spends most of them alone, in her condo. I have been more conscious of going over to see her on Saturdays, even though it requires a bit more than I have in me. Last week, my daughter needed something at the store so we picked up Mom and she tagged along. It gets her out and if it's only for an hour, at least it's something!

Today, I decided to go to a movie. I've been looking at what is out lately and haven't seen much that would be appropriate for my mom. But I saw that "The Iron Lady" was playing today and thought that might work. I know little about movies, but I did know this movie was about Margaret Thatcher and that Meryl Streep won an Oscar for it. Being that it is based on an actual person that my mom might remember, I took a chance at this being a movie Mom would enjoy. WRONG! She was falling asleep at the beginning and about 3/4 of the way through she was asking me what time it was. Apparently, knowing who the actors are is an important element in my mother's enjoyment of the film. She didn't recognize them, i.e. Meryl Streep, so she didn't like it. Also, she couldn't follow the story line (more on that in moment) and didn't remember Margaret Thatcher. Personally, I think it was the popcorn. I offered to get snacks at the concession stand and she declined. First time ever, I think! Maybe if we had had popcorn, she would have liked the movie. All in all, she was bored.

I, on the other hand, enjoyed the movie. I especially like movies based on reality, except when they alter reality - that ticks me off! Since I know nothing about Margaret Thatcher, it was all truth to me and it was all good! Interesting lady - I may have to read up on her. Anyway, the movie depicts an old Margaret suffering some sort of dementia looking back at her life while talking with her dead husband. There was a scene in which her daughter, Carol, is telling Margaret that she is not the Prime Minister anymore, Dad is dead and Mark, her son, is in South Africa - much like conversations I have with my own mother. (I frequently tell her she is not the Prime Minister anymore...). I could contain all but a few tears that managed run down my cheek. I didn't know I was going to be hit with this dementia thing again. So much for movies being an escape! But Margaret's struggle in the movie to remain in reality gave me some sense of what may happen in my mother's head. And I think that is why she didn't enjoy the movie. It jumped from current reality to past to certain unreality. My mom couldn't keep up, I suppose. I was a bit sad that Mom didn't get it. Why would I think that she would be able to relate her current situation with what appeared on the big screen before her? It was clear to me. But then, that is my constant struggle of late - what is clear to me is not clear to Mom. It's my job to help her see as best she can. It requires some patience and finesse. I'm growing in these areas, but then the parameters change and I have to learn them all again. Maybe that's why I have a headache right now...

Oh, well. It was a good movie. Margaret talks to her dead husband, my mom talks to her dead husband...it certainly depicts a love that never ends and THAT is quite beautiful and a very clear reality.