Everything starts somewhere...

So I've decided to keep record of my journey with my mom through the Alzheimer's maze. It seems some history would be in order. Hmmmm...

Life became particularly arduous when my father passed away in May of 2005. Going on 5 years now. My parents had been married for almost 55 years so the toll taken on my mother was great. But shared grief brought out the best in my extended family. We all pitched in to help my mom navigate her new life. But it became increasing obvious that she was now quite forgetful. She was most concerned about forgetting people's names and she made an appointment to have an evaluation. The outcome was positive, nothing unusual for a woman of her age. Find some ways to compensate, to organize and she should be fine.

But another couple years, repeated conversations and forgotten names continued to bother my mom. This is when I started attending some of her visits to the doctor. It was decided she should have a CAT scan done of her brain. But this is also when my sister-in-law had a stroke. See, it hadn't been long before that my dad died from a stroke. My sister-in-law was in the same hospital, the same ICU, and it rattled my mom. It seemed logical that her memory loss and confusion could easily be explained away. The scan came back showing vascular blockage which would account for her troubles. Alzheimer's disease can't be diagnosed. If you can find another reason for your problem, i.e. vascular blockage, maybe you don't have it. We were overjoyed to say the least.

Six months later, Mom's memory was declining considerably. I called my 2 brothers and 2 sisters and we had a secret meeting to create a plan to help mom. I did feel a bit deceitful because we didn't include Mom. We needed to speak openly and her presence would have made that difficult. It was a good meeting. We decided to divide up tasks, as they relate to my mother...God has blessed me with wonderful siblings! I was put in charge of medical issues. I am the one who is more available to attend doctor appointments etc so it made sense. My brothers and sisters had other jobs to take care of and we proceeded from there.

That was just after Christmas of 2008. The next Spring proved to be challenging. My mom went to an open house for a company that sells hearing aids and bought some because they were so nice to her. And then she didn't remember actually paying for them. I had to go back with her to return them, get her money back and then found a reputable audiologist. And then her new ears caused her much grief! She couldn't remember how to use them, how to put them in and she even lost them for a few days. She was deteriorating. I spoke with her doctor about the situation and she said she would encourage Mom to have an neurological evaluation. The appointment was in June of 2009.

I dropped her off at her appointment and ran some errands. When I returned, I sat with my mom and the neuropsychologist and heard a death sentence. She has memory loss consistent with Alzheimer's disease. Even as the tests were explained and the results revealed, my mother's comments confirmed everything. She didn't even seem to understand why she was there. It was heart wrenching. But as I dropped her off at her home, in a very lucid moment, she remarked "Well, I guess it will really be harder on all of you". It made me cry. And it still makes me cry.

A couple of the recommendations from the neuropsychologist were that she not live alone or drive a car. It seemed like such a huge change for her! But the thought was, who knows when she'll forget basic things, like the car she just saw in the side mirror or the cookies in the oven! We began the daunting task of cleaning out her home and finding new accommodations. Routine is her friend, so we needed to get her into a new routine and fast. It has taken 7, almost 8, months now, but she is in a new condo with the opportunity to move into assisted living when it becomes necessary. Her home of 43 years has been painted and updated (no thanks to me!) and is almost ready to be put on the market. There are still many items of which to dispose, but there is a light shining brightly at the end of that tunnel!

It was last week that I thought about a blog. I was encouraged because Mom seemed like the mom I've always known! Where did that come from? It has been a very long and stressful few months for my mother, as her house was turned upside down, her things discarded or moved to another place and her car being unavailable to her. So, perhaps, she is adjusting well to her new life. I considered that maybe we would have some wonderful days left with Mom, even though the difficult ones will show up much more frequently than we want. Maybe I should record these moments so I can remember the ups and the downs. Maybe someone else would relate, or be encouraged or even encourage me. I don't know. I believe God works in wonderful ways, bringing good out of bad. Maybe this could be some good from the bad. That's the plan as of today.